Checking in.
Home again.
Better late than never.
Day for night.
Day is night.
Colder here in summer.
Writing: March 2008 Archives
It pumps
It bleeds
It keeps me alive
It pounds
It hounds
It keeps me alive
It burns
It churns
It keeps me alive
My heart, that is.
You poor unfortunate souls... It looks like the fourth most popular New Zealand pop comedy folk duo have called it quits and broken up. Although they never publically acknowledged their extreme and dangerous hatred of each other, it was apparent to the cast and crew of the now and forever single season of the "same name as the band" television show. that something was terribly wrong in their relationship.
"They just fought constantly.", said a cameraman.
"I saw Bret pull Jermaine's hair. It was incredibly hard to watch, yet in a wonderful way, very difficult to turn away from", said the make-up artist.
"For the children's sake, I hope they can work through this", said another person not too closely tied to the production of the the television show.
I know it's hard to believe but it is absolutely true. This is a sad day. Very sad. It's a shame. A crying absolutely true shame. Bret and Jermaine, I hardly knew you. May this true, undeniable fact not be true at all although I know for a fact it is true.
Update: Looks like it was actually not true at all. The rock partnership that rocks the party has some party left in them to rock. They have been able to reconcile their differences. Sorry guys for any rumour mongering.
Update 2: It appears that they actually never had any differences to reconcile. That too was a completely fabricated invention of my misunderstood mind.
Update 3: I'm not sure what to believe anymore.
Update 4: Someone please help. Please.
Upda
On Tuesday, March 25, 2008, the Dead Prophet had the good fortune to hypothetically meet up with one of televisions greatest. The following interview wasn't conducted over the phone during a very strange 10 minute interview. The Dead Prophet was at home. Billy Mays was in a private Cessna 180 Skywagon with his family somewhere over the northern Appalachians on route to a book signing.
Dead Prophet: Good to have you here Mr. MaysBilly Mays: Please, call me Billy.
DP: Okay, Billy.
BM: Or Mr. America's Greatest Pitchman
DP: Sorry?
BM: Or Mr. Television or Greatest Person in the World, whatever... Billy is fine.
DP: Right. Thanks for taking the time today Mr. Mays. I know you're a busy man.
BM: No problem. My pleasure.
Continue reading Fake Interview: Billy Mays.
It's cold here. And dark. I didn't think it would be like this. In my mind it was warm, dusk and full of life.
I didn't know Bangkok could be lonely. I didn't know you could take a wrong turn and end up alone. The mental picture was all neon and people. But now it's dark, I'm alone and fighting the same demons I thought I left behind in Toronto.
It wasn't always like this. It wasn't always this way. But what was was when and what's now is almost too heavy to carry.
Damn. I thought Bangkok would be different. I thought Bangkok would be better. I thought Bangkok would save me. Nothing is different here, nothing is better. I'm still filled with useless self loathing. I'm still not worth saving.
Bangkok.
The sound of gunshots ripped past my ears. I have never felt so afraid and out of control. My eyes welled with tears before I even had a chance to comprehend the enormity of the situation. It was like the emotion broke the sound barrier of my understanding and I was shaking on the ground without a sense of cause.
Another shot pierced the silent halls of the school.
Why did it have to be today?
Why did it have to be my school?
Why did I have to be the only one to die?
stillness now
and then a quiver
the mud comes first
and then the river
the river runs
and so do I
the peace that passes
passed me by
I would like some french fries please. Could I also have a hamburger?
But remember, it's just pretend.
And I would also like a pine cone and a candy cane.
Here, I'll get it myself.
"Hello?". His voice was rough and tired.
"Hi, sorry for calling so late."
"Who is this?"
"It's Sam. Look, I'm sorry for calling but it's important". Whatever was going to be said had to be said and whatever was going to happen wasn't going to be pretty.
"Sam?" His voice picked up a notch while he registered the callers name. "Is everything okay?"
"No, not really. I'm in a bit of trouble."
"Tell me you didn't lose it." Another notch up the panic ladder.
"Well.." This wasn't going to go well. "... that's kind of the problem."
"Shit Sam!" There were no notches to describe the voice now. "What the hell did you do! Fuck!"
There was a very small silence that meant a very big deal.
"Sam! Do you fucking know how many people are going to get killed know".
"Hi, sorry for calling so late."
"Who is this?"
"It's Sam. Look, I'm sorry for calling but it's important". Whatever was going to be said had to be said and whatever was going to happen wasn't going to be pretty.
"Sam?" His voice picked up a notch while he registered the callers name. "Is everything okay?"
"No, not really. I'm in a bit of trouble."
"Tell me you didn't lose it." Another notch up the panic ladder.
"Well.." This wasn't going to go well. "... that's kind of the problem."
"Shit Sam!" There were no notches to describe the voice now. "What the hell did you do! Fuck!"
There was a very small silence that meant a very big deal.
"Sam! Do you fucking know how many people are going to get killed know".
"100?... 1000?... Well it's got to be more than one, right?"
Pause for effect.
"Actually no, I have no idea"
first things first
because the singing is the song
because the feeling is gone
because the days are too long
first things first
because my hair is on fire
because the bird on the wire
because the heart's desire
first things first
because you're lovin' what you see
because you're sitting next to me
because you're turning 33
first things first
when you've run out of time
when you're searching for a rhyme
when you're drunk and I'm high
because the singing is the song
because the feeling is gone
because the days are too long
first things first
because my hair is on fire
because the bird on the wire
because the heart's desire
first things first
because you're lovin' what you see
because you're sitting next to me
because you're turning 33
first things first
when you've run out of time
when you're searching for a rhyme
when you're drunk and I'm high
